


I’m Not Getting Up

by Bandom_Squirrel



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:28:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24902356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandom_Squirrel/pseuds/Bandom_Squirrel
Summary: Dan doesn’t want to get out of bed. Phil doesn’t want to keep doing everything for Dan. A competition of sorts ensues.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	I’m Not Getting Up

“Good morning.” Dan felt Phil’s arm draped across his back, and he groaned, shifting further into his pillow. 

“Fuck off, ‘m sleeping,” Dan mumbled, fisting the sheets and pulling them further up on his body. He could almost hear Phil roll his eyes at that. 

“It’s already twelve thirty, we should probably be getting up,” Phil told him, nuzzling the back of Dan’s neck as if that would make his argument more convincing. On some days it might’ve. 

“Too early,” Dan protested, ineffectually trying to shrug Phil off, but giving up after just one attempt. 

“Dan, you’re not staying in bed all day again,” Phil argued, and Dan sighed, finally giving in just enough to sit up, letting the blankets fall down his torso. 

“Why not? My laptop and phone are in reach, and there’s absolutely no reason for me to get out of bed,” Dan objected, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. It was far too early for him to be putting that much effort into forming coherent words. 

“What about food?” Phil asked pointedly, in a tone indicating he thought he’d won something. Dan just grinned and batted his eyelashes at the other man. 

“Get breakfast for me?” Dan, having been expecting Phil to reluctantly agree, was surprised when Phil crosses his arms and shook his head. 

“I told you that yesterday was the last time,” Phil pointed out, and Dan just stared at him disbelievingly. 

“You’ve said that everyday for the past few weeks!”

“Well, yesterday I meant it.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” Dan looked up at the ceiling, only slightly exaggerating his disappointment. “What’s the point of being stuck in lockdown with your boyfriend if he doesn’t even get you breakfast in bed?”

“Okay then. Get me breakfast in bed,” Phil challenged, and Dan wondered how he’d missed that hole in his own logic. 

“But I’m tired,” Dan whined, dropping all pretense of any sort of sensible argument and directing his most convincing puppy eyes towards Phil. 

“Too bad,” Phil hummed, seeming entirely too proud himself for resisting Dan’s ways. Dan scowled. “Honestly, when’s the last time you got out of bed?”

“I got up to piss last-“

“Besides that, idiot.”

“We had dinner together in the lounge two nights ago.”

“Dan, that was three nights ago.”

“No it wasn’t, you spoon.” Dan glared at Phil doubtfully, who narrowed his eyes and reached for his phone. 

“Oh my god, it’s been four days,” Phil informed him incredulously, eyes widening as he looked at his phone. Dan scoffed. 

“You’re totally shitting me.”

“No, I’m not! I distinctly remember, it was May fourth, and today’s the eighth,” Phil explained, and Dan rolled his eyes as he realized that added up. 

“Stupid quarantine’s fucking with my head,” Dan defended, sliding a bit further under the blankets. 

“Which means that you have to get out of bed,” Phil concluded, grinning proudly in a way that was simply too adorable for Dan to not smile at. 

“Shut up,” Dan huffed, though the irritation behind it was gone. There was a moment of silence between them, before Dan glanced hopefully at Phil once again. “So can you bring me breakfast?”

“No!”

“Well I’m not getting out of bed then.”

“Well I’m not getting out of bed until you get out of bed.”

“Then I guess we’ll be stuck here together all day.”

~

The first challenge came only a few minutes later, when Dan announced that he was going back to sleep and attempted to snuggle up against Phil’s side. Used to it, Phil didn’t pay much attention to the other man, focus centered on his phone, until Dan nuzzled against his shoulder. 

“When’s the last time you showered?” Phil asked, wrinkling his nose as he caught a whiff of Dan’s scent. From up close, his hair was so obviously greasy that it was rather gross. 

“I dunno, a few days ago?” Dan replied casually, seeming disinterested. “I told you I’ve lost track of how time works in this fucking lockdown.”

“You reek,” Phil pointed out, attempting unsuccessfully to shove Dan away from him. “You should really wash your hair at the very least.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Dan retorted, still not moving from where he was pressed against Phil’s side. “When’s the last time you changed what you’re wearing?”

“Um, I’m not sure,” Phil admitted guilty, giggling slightly. Dan’s smirk was almost audible. 

“Well you don’t see me complaining about that, do you?” Dan observed sarcastically, and Phil let out a small, disbelieving huff. 

“Maybe I just don’t smell as badly as you do,” Phil argued, pursing his lips and crossing his arms. It was such a display of ridiculousness that Dan had to laugh. 

“Keep telling yourself that,” Dan replied, and Phil batted at the arm Dan had around him, putting on his best offended face. 

“I think you should take a shower.”

“I think you should get changed.”

Unsurprisingly, neither of them moved from their positions. 

~

The second challenge came when Dan had moved on to trying to get work done on his laptop, while Phil scrolled through Instagram on his phone. It had been about two and a half hours since the competition of sorts had started, and Dan felt himself beginning to feel a bit hungry. Deciding that his need for food was reason enough to up the ante of the game they were playing, he formed a quick plan. Sneaking a glance towards Phil, he could tell that the other man was distracted enough that it just might work. 

“Hey Phil,” Dan said casually, not looking away from his screen. “Could you get me a cup of coffee real quick?” It was a request he made nearly everyday, and he hoped that Phil would react out of habit before thinking it through. 

“Sure.” For a moment, Dan was certain his plan would work, as Phil began lifting the blankets off his lap. However, that moment was short-lived, and Phil quickly froze, setting the covers back down and narrowing his eyes at Dan. 

“Hey,” Phil said accusingly, pursing his lips in Dan’s direction. Dan sighed defeatedly and shrugged. 

“Dammit,” Dan cursed. “You have to admit that it almost worked.” Phil raised an eyebrow at Dan, who met his gaze steadily. 

“I’m not stupid, you know,” Phil reminded him, tone more than a bit defensive. “I wasn’t gonna fall for that.” 

“I didn’t think you’re stupid,” Dan corrected, even in competitive mode not quite able to not protect Phil. “I just happen to know that we’re both total creatures of habit.” 

Phil seemed to take that as an acceptable excuse, and for about ten minutes, they just continued doing what they were doing. 

“Dan,” Phil started offhandedly, “Would you mind getting my laptop for me? I left it in the lounge.” Dan looked at Phil incredulously, trying to tell if he was serious. 

“Fuck you,” Dan remarked, his tone somewhere between offended and disbelieving. 

“What?” Phil asked innocently, a small giggle escaping him. Dan just gaped at him, trying to wrap his brain around how Phil could’ve possibly thought that would’ve worked. 

“You can’t just try the exact same trick I did right after I did and expect it to work!” Dan exclaimed. “Especially since it didn’t even work when I did it!”

“I was just hoping that you were even more a creature of habit than I am,” Phil defended earnestly, and Dan wished that it was less difficult to stay mad at him when he looked so sincere. 

“God, Phil,” Dan muttered, shaking his head as Phil visibly grappled for something more to say. 

“Well, I need to wee, but I’m not losing,” Phil continued, and Dan managed to right himself enough to speak more calmly. 

“Why don’t you just let me win?” Dan reasoned, resisting the urge to smirk. “It’s not there’s a prize or anything.”

“The prize is dignity!” Phil stated dramatically. “And proof that I’m not just gonna do things for you when you’re too lazy to do them yourself. And if there really is no reason, why don’t you let me win? You obviously want to get out of bed, or you wouldn’t have tried to get me out earlier.”

“Of course I want to win,” Dan snorted. “Have you met me? Since when have I not been overly competitive about trivial things?”

It was then that they both realized that neither of them would be moving anytime soon when the stakes were as high as Phil’s dignity and Dan’s pride. 

~

The third challenge didn’t come until late that evening, when they both had found it in themselves to put up with empty stomachs and full bladders in order to win. Somewhere along the way, they’d started watching The Office on Dan’s laptop, and soon were snuggled together watching episodes they’d already seen multiple times. 

Unsurprisingly, somewhere in the beginning of the second season, they’d stopped focusing on the show in favor of making out. While Phil had reminded Dan that neither of them had brushed their teeth that morning, Dan had fixed him with a glare so petulant that all logical argument was irrelevant. 

After a few minutes of languid movements of lips on lips, Dan pulled away just enough to move his lips to Phil’s ear.

“Phil,” Dan whispered, grinning as Phil shivered slightly at his name. “Why don’t you get us some champagne?” Dan hoped champagne was a sexy enough word, as he was finding it difficult to think of something that would both be sexy and require Phil to get up. Hopefully the way he let his lips brush against Phil’s cheek as he pulled back would help with that. 

Evidently, it wasn’t enough, as instead of just blindly following Dan’s request, Phil went back to kissing him. Not what he’d planned, but Dan could work with that. It wasn’t something that he would complain about. At least not until Phil pulled away, smirking, and letting his hands continue to rest on Dan’s cheeks. 

“I’m not that easy,” Phil stated, raising his eyebrows as if in a challenge. Dan cursed internally, but managed to maintain a straight face. 

“Oh, well that’s a surprise,” Dan replied with a smirk, and Phil opened his mouth in an exaggerated show of offense. 

“Fuck off,” Phil huffed, tone an odd mix of exasperated and affectionate, and lightly shoved at Dan’s chest, knocking him onto his back. Dan reacted almost immediately. 

“You fuck off,” Dan countered, shoving Phil right back. In seconds, playful showing evolved into a full-on wrestling match, complete with elbows in stomachs and multiple knees almost in crotches. It wasn’t unusual for that sort of thing to happen when they spent too much time together. 

At one point, Dan lunged at Phil, knocking them both quite a ways across the bed, and Phil grabbed at Dan’s arms, pulling him towards him and then-

Well, they both fell off the bed. 

After a few “Ow!”s and muffled curses from the floor’s unexpected attack, they looked at each other for a few long moments before both breaking out in laughter. 

“Of course,” Dan managed to breathe between giggles, “this is how it ends. Because why wouldn’t it?”

“I guess the universe didn’t want you to have pride or me to have dignity,” Phil agreed, still laughing at the ridiculousness of the entire situation. 

“I don’t think the universe cares about that, Phil,” Dan told him. “I think this is just proof that we were both being complete idiots all day.”

“Well, now that we’re out of bed, I really need to use the toilet,” Phil announced, causing Dan to roll his eyes. 

“You go do that, Phil. I’m going to get something to eat,” Dan responded, continuing to lie on the floor for a few moments while Phil stood up. 

“I’ll join you in a few minutes,” Phil said to him, walking towards the door. Dan wondered how much it said about them that hours worth of competition meant nothing within seconds of being over. 

“I’ll wait for you.”


End file.
